


"How am I looking at you?"

by Aerilon452



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: A/U, Angst, Crying, F/M, Fluff, Philinda - Freeform, Seriously Melinda May needs a good cry, This is how I was Philinda to start of in Season 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22889359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerilon452/pseuds/Aerilon452
Summary: Melinda needs a good cry.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	"How am I looking at you?"

**Author's Note:**

> I binge watched S6 all in one day and needless to say I have a few EMOTIONS about it. Especially the SEASON FINALE. This fic is how I would like Melinda seeing LMD/Coulson when she get's out of that pod. It won't happen... but a shipper can dream! Enjoy.

Daisy didn’t know what to say to him – to the chronicom/LMD hybrid that housed Coulson’s consciousness. He looked the same, talked the same, and he looked at her the way a father looked at a daughter – with love. She went to him, hugging him as tight as she could. Every ounce of pain and heartache she had after his death went away the moment his arms came around her. “I never thought I would see you again,” she whispered.  
  
“It’s okay, I’m here,” Coulson replied softly, holding her just as tightly. He looked around, seeing familiar faces, but not the one he really wanted to see. “Where’s May?” he asked and pulled back from Daisy.  
  
“She… umm…she was hurt by Sarge,” Daisy said because she couldn't bring herself to say that May had nearly been killed. She saw that familiar flash of anger flit through his eyes. He always got that look when anything happened to May and he hadn’t been there.  
  
  
 **CARGO BAY:**  
  
  
Phil knelt by the cryo-pod seeing May inside looking like death. Simmons assured him she was healing, albeit slowly and in the meantime, she had to be in there. “Oh, May,” he whispered, placing his hand atop the pod.  
  
Standing a short distance away, Simmons whispered to Daisy, “May is going to be so mad when she wakes up.” Still, she stood by this choice to resurrect Coulson. They needed him.  
  
Daisy scoffed, “She’s not going to be mad. She’s going to be pissed.” When the time came, Daisy would bear the brunt of that rage. After all, it was daisy’s fault for not killing Sarge when she had the chance. If that hadn’t happened, May wouldn’t be in that cryo-pod being brought back from the brink of death.  
  
  
 **ONE WEEK LATER:**  
  
  
Simmons finally felt it was safe enough to bring May out of the cryostasis pod. They had her resting in the infirmary, still sedated. Coulson was there, sitting by her side, holding her hand, talking to her. No one dared to go in that room should May wake up. It was already hard enough; they couldn’t handle seeing one of their toughest broken further. First Sarge and now this new LMD Coulson.  
  
Coulson watched May intently, committing every miniscule movement to memory. She had her color in her cheeks and her heart rate was back to normal. Simmons said the wounds were nearly healed. All that was left was for her to wake up, which he was dreading. What if her dealings with that Sarge character left her hating the idea of interacting with any version of him? What if she left for good? He might be an advanced hybrid, but he still had the conflicting feelings of his human memories. In a second, those fears slid back to the dark recesses of his mind the moment Melinda moaned lightly.  
  
The last thing May saw was Daisy and it had been enough for her. She closed her eyes, intending to just drift off to cross over to the other side where she hoped Phil was waiting for her. Her dying wish had been to see him again. Pain was the first thing she felt. May moaned and her eyes fluttered opening, trying to focus. “Phil…?” Was he really here?  
  
“It’s me, May,” Phil said softly, standing up, leaning over her. He cupped her face gently, his thumb brushing back and forth. “I’m right here with you May.” He kept his voice calm and soothing as he repeated those words over and over to her.  
  
May’s mouth was dry and throat scratchy. “Am I dreaming…?” she asked, hoping that this wasn’t a cruel trick her mind was playing on her. She couldn’t handle it if it were only a dream. Melinda would give anything to have Phil back with her.  
  
“No, May, I’m here,” Phil quickly and quietly said. He leaned over, pressing his forehead to hers. He let her feel a whisper of his breath across her lips. Then, pulling away from her, he looked into her eyes. He expected anger. He expected her to push him away. What he wasn’t expecting to see was relief and then happiness.  
  
“Phil…hold me.” Melinda dissolved into tears. It didn’t fit with her badass image, but she didn’t care. She was tired of being strong, of projecting that she was okay. She wasn’t. Melinda May had offered the universe a deal and it delivered on its end. She had promised to stop fighting and let death take her. The universe didn’t want her, and it gave Phil Coulson back with her. Even though her body felt like lead, she somehow managed to lift her arms and drape them over his shoulders.  
  
Phil slid his right arm across her back and used his left hand to pull back the sheet that covered her. Then, he slipped his left arm under her knees and picked her up, holding her against him. As if she weighed nothing at all, he stood with her in his arms. “I have you, May. I’m here,” he said softly, swaying back and forth slowly. He hoped the motion would sooth her as she cried. Each little sob and hiccup he heard from her broke his heart. She was suffering this pain because of him.

Once the tears started, May didn’t know how to make them stop. She cried quietly, hiding her face. All that mattered was that she was in Phil’s arms. Belatedly, she realized he was moving again. A few steps and he was sitting. She sniffled – it felt undignified to do that, honestly – and looked at him. They were sitting on the bench that had been close to the infirmary bed she’d been lying in. She turned her attention back to him, seeing the familiar twinkle in his eye. “Is it really you?”

“What do you think?” Phil asked quietly.

Melinda had a moment where she could answer as everyone expected her to. She didn’t want that. “I don’t care what you are, so long as you look at me like that.”

“How am I looking at you?”

“Like I’m the love of your life.”

**THE END**


End file.
